There is no condemnation for me or you! (Romans 9:1)
I have to choose to walk by the Spirit and not gratify my flesh in feeling pity for myself...or beating myself....[Galatians 5:16-17, "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do]....yes it is gratifying to my flesh to think and believe that I am giving myself what I really deserve WHEN!-- I am not the One who can truly punish myself and truly give myself what I deserve...I love myself too much, hahaha. {it's like when I flick my husband on the neck. He says, "Ouch, that hurts." I say, "no it doesn't." I flick myself and say see it didn't hurt. When in actuality, I don't flick myself as hard as I flick him..my mind won't let me.} The Lord is the Only Judge; even when it comes to me trying to deal with my own sin. And praise the Lord for being the Judge who gives us Jesus as our Judge Advocate!!! Right!!! 1 John 2:1-3, " My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments."
I love the Lord. I will choose the Word over MUDD!!! I will go to Him with a contrite heart.. He welcomes it...He desires it...Psalm 51:17, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."
I will close with this Scripture...let it be your prayer, if your face is in the mud, as it is my prayer tonight!!!
Create in Me a Clean Heart, O God
51 Have mercy on me,[a] O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right[b] spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
14 Deliver me from blood guiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
19 then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.